I will admit that I do not fully understand what is happening in the featured image, but Jessica Biel is still a knockout so I will do my best to give it a chance. After all Jessica has meant to me throughout my life, I owe it to her to not roast her for wearing something that looks like it was picked out by a prostitute who was in the middle of having a seizure. No, that would be too easy, and we here at Egotastic are above that.
That is why I will not make any more mentions of Biel's possible venture into the occupation of pirate stripper. I would have no facts to backup such a claim, other than the wardrobe you see before you now, so I will withhold from making such an incendiary comment. Although I do think that with only this photo as evidence my accusation would be able to hold up in a court of law. All she is missing is a peg leg.
Again, I want to emphasize that I am not making any of these claims. I, of all people, would never want to see any harm come to the stunning legs of such a beauty. That is why out of respect for her I will only say that she looks quite good with bangs.
Photo Credit: Marie Claire Australia